This video is perfect for me right now. I’m on the verge of change because it is necessary. I just saw Kongos about three weeks ago (and they were just as amazing as I thought they would be). I am inviting you (as of this writing—all THREE of you!!) to come with me on my journey of change and hope. I will quickly outline it here for you:
Two nights ago I was walking the dogs as usual, and I heard what I thought was a 6-year-old chid crying. Several kids in the neighborhood were playing, but I didn’t see any children hurt, or alone. Quickly I realized it was our next-door-neighbor’s adult son, who is 39, not 6, having a melt-down. He is “one of those” who has never seemed to be able to find his place in life. Once he told me that it was his nature to be a perpetual “fuck up.” He’s bright, he’s attractive, yet he has never found himself and I think his melt-down is largely due to the fact that he’s about to be a father for the second time, and he still hasn’t found himself. Most of our neighbors seem to think of him in a negative light, but I see so much of myself in him, although I have always known myself but have never felt at liberty to BE myself. I became a wife at 19. A mom at 21. A single mom at 24. I re-married at 29, and with that came even more obligations and pressures. Presently, the pressure is to carry insurance for the family because I have lupus, Sjogren’s Syndrome & chronic migraine/temporal lobe epilepsy. Basically, I’m too sick to work full time, but also too sick to not work full time. It’s a horrid catch-22.
Hubs has his own private law practice. We tried getting private insurance—it costs $20k per year PLUS a $6k deductible PLUS it doesn’t cover any of my illnesses, nor his high blood pressure nor any heart issues. I HAVE to work. And it’s killing me.
At least the work I know and have been doing for the past 25ish years is killing me. I can take on other jobs that don’t entail the same level of stress, that I think will work (and not make me sick—autoimmune diseases + stress = extra no fun migraine time for me in addition to the RA symptoms, crippling fatigue, compromised immune system & infections, brain fog & inability to use my fingers…the migraines, by far, are the worst so far, though).
So, Come With Me Now as I enter a new year (birthday is next week - and I will be seeing Jack White in St. Louis to celebrate—look for a Jack White/White Stripes/Dead Weather…possibly even Raconteurs post in the coming week!), and a new way of life. I’m getting too old to SETTLE. Let’s do this!